Healing the Healer

My life hasn’t been sunshine and roses. I understand that I chose to learn what I have long before I ever came to this planet.  Even with that knowledge, it isn’t always easy. I still get so frustrated with myself. My life path of knowledge and professional training helps me to have so much empathy for others. The real kicker is that I have very little for myself. Ridiculous, right? I have been peeling back the layers of healing or as I call it the “onion” for many years. It is what lead me to my life’s work.  It had been a while since I have actively sought out help from another to help clear more of my “stuff.” I have been so busy helping others that I have forgotten about myself. Fortunately, I recently started to work on the next layer of my life and I have awesome healers to support me. I am going through a major life transformation that has been a great challenge for me emotionally. Today I decided to actually feel how I feel.  That is a big deal since I am an excellent stuffer.   It was a survival mechanism as a kid and I easily carried it into my adulthood. The tears just started flooding out today as I release stress that I have been carrying for years. Hindsight is always 20/20. The best part of this process is that I always get more clarity and I can move forward easier. I am sharing openly because I know there are others who feel the same way. I am willing to be publicly vulnerable.  This is huge step for me. The deeper I dig into my own stuff the more understanding I have to help others. This is my life’s work.  I have always been open about my healing and what I have been through. This layer of the onion is tough. Some layers slip away easily, so maybe I am much closer to the core. I am sitting in a space where I am getting ready to step out bigger and help more people. To be honest, there is a piece in me that is a little freaked out. Maybe it’s still my inner child that vowed to stay hidden to be safe. I guess all I can do is step out into the spotlight and hope that I am safe and protected. Hiding in a corner hasn’t worked. I feel my wise self acknowledge that that is the truth. The only constant is change so here I am in that energy again. My parachute is strapped and I am taking a leap! May God and the Angels help me soar.